叩问爱

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 19:48:24 GMT

三十八年难得一遇的双七夕，却与爱情无关。

一如既往，继续着一个人的孤单。

没有变酸的思念，更没有撕心裂肺的情伤。

不寻常的平静，如同死寂，依然故我。

没有痛过，心为何可以如此无知无觉？

并未痛过，是否意味着从未真正爱过？

再大的挫折，不曾让我茫然失落

但情为何物，竟然迷惘我。

爱与被爱，得到与付出，注定无法对等。

是否可以这样说，爱是一种无法达致的平衡。

爱，意味着唯一吗？

爱，意味着此生不变吗？

爱，意味着别无他想吗？

不禁想问，

有多少真正的此情不渝？

有多少真正的地老天荒？

又有多少人能够坚守到永远？

并非不相信真爱

并非不相信永恒

只是唯美过于沉重

爱情潜藏了太多

无法抵触的现实因素

难以完美无缺

难以用唯一的标准去度量

假如，爱的一方是起点，而被爱的一方是终点

我所理解的爱便是从起点到终点的过程

但步伐有快也有慢，轨迹也不是唯一的

有人走直路，有人走弯路，甚至有人走错路

重要的是找对了方向，并最终走到了终点

也许过程并不完美

也许轨迹并不规则

也许一切并非尽如人意

但人无完人爱是否可以

多一些宽容少一点苛刻

不是不爱而是难以爱得完美无暇

不是不爱而是不想爱得遗失自我

不是不爱而是不能爱得毫无尊严

不是不爱而是无法爱得别无他求

但爱，确实需要一份执着与坚持。

无怨无悔时的执着

大彻大悟后的坚持

也许，这就是爱……

——2006年8月31日凌晨3点26分写于广州

轮回

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 16:35:30 GMT

轮回

生活的可爱，在于无法预知

走的下一步会遇见什么

或惶惑，或惊讶，或期待……
何其幸运，活在未知的世界里
走了一圈，重回原点，再度相遇

惊艳之美，竟是那样的优雅
走过，转身，回眸，再转身，微微一笑
一年的轮回。

True perfection has to be imperfect

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 10:38:05 GMT

True Perfection Has To Be Imperfect

高中时写的一篇拙作，中国式的英语，文字很稚嫩，故事很普通，叙述很平白，但感情却是很真实的。尽管写得不怎么样，但情窦初开的年纪，已经在尝试用自己所能用上的语言来诉说那次刻骨铭心的初恋，尝试阐述对爱的一点浅薄认识和理解。无论如何，这情感历程的第一课，都有着非比寻常的意义，刻骨铭心，回味一生

Sitting alone by the opening window, he fixes his eyes on the picture inlaid in the wooden frame standing on the desk , thoughtfully. In the picture is a long-hair girl embraced by a boy behind, smiling blissfully. Out of the window, the wind is whispering, softly, seeming to tell a story of eternity. In a sudden, the breeze blows through the window and into his room, lifts up his hair, the white curtains and the calendar hung on the white wall. Unconsciously, he removes his eyes from the picture to stare at the turning pages of the calendar, as if he’s waiting for a certain answer. Amazingly, the breeze stops on the page of March 17, then goes away silently, leaving him alone.

Staring at the page of March 17, his heart can’t help trembling slightly, but almost at the same time, the corner of his mouth is lifted—he smiles, with the door of memory opened. All the moments he spent together with her, perhaps bitter, perhaps sweet, flash across his mind, one by one, then join together to film a fadeless story…

He still remembers quite clearly when the story happened. One year ago, on the same day of March 17, he met her for the first time. It was a rainy Sunday night, and the rain was so heavy. He left school and rode home, one hand was holding the bicycle while the other was carrying quite a few books. All of a sudden, he fell off the bicycle when he turned right at a corner, the books scattered around him and immediately got dirty. Not badly injured, he stood up again, then in a hurry, he went down to pick up his books. The inside part of the raincoat had also been wet and muddy, so he couldn’t use it anymore, and was rather flustered in the rain.

Suddenly, he heard rapid clop-clop behind him, so he turned around just when someone stopped in front of him. Heading up, he saw the girl, who was holding a red umbrella over him to keep him out of the rain. Unavoidably, the two figures got very close to one another. They were both stiffly looking into each other’s eyes. She was very beautiful. Staring at her face, his heart picked up speed, and he tried to say “thank you”, but words got in the way. At last, he first smiled to her, and she repaid him one as well…

From that moment on, she walked into his life. Her long hair, her glittering eyes, her beautiful face, her sweet smile, her tender voice, her natural scent, her emotions…everything about her lingered over his mind. Soon a bridge was built up linking them together. They became friends, always studied or went out together on weekends. Step by step, they opened the door to each other. And they were overjoyed to have found that they had so much in common, as if they were one another. So they turned out to be soulmates, then naturally, they fell in love, it was just like a fairy tale.

Everything went perfectly in the first few months. They almost stayed together every day, swimming in happiness and sweetness. What impressed him most was eating beef -noodles together with her. Each time when they ate beef-noodles outside, he always first placed three pieces of beef one by one from his bowl into hers, and she always smiled blissfully then did the same to him. They both understood what the three pieces of beef meant —“I love you, and how many times we eat beef-noodles together means how many times I say these three words to you in my heart!”

Passion, however, always comes and goes in a minute. When passion burns up into ashes, love is not fresh and no longer full of vitality, instead, crisis turns up to the relationship. As days went by, they both discovered more and more shortcomings of one another that neither of them could endure, although they had made great effort to get their arms around those demerits. Then gradually, conflicts turned up frequently between them. They became fussy and irritable, often bickered over small matters and blamed each other for all the pain.

Finally, their relationship was brought to an end. He had dated someone new and offered to break up but to stay friends with her. Yet she went far away from him, with huge wrench, because she still loved him very much. He could never forget the desperation and sadness in her eyes when she turned round and ran into the heavy rain on the day when they were apart. Tears trickled down her cheeks and blurred her eyesight. The hurt look in her eyes kind of touched the softest part deep inside him, but he just stood there, stiffly watching her away, falling into deep thought.

During the days without her by his side, he felt increasing loneliness and emptiness deep inside. His new girlfriend was a pretty girl with a very bad temper, selfish and could never read his mind. He found himself missing his ex-girlfriend like crazy. No one else had ever touched and understood him the way she had done. In a moment, he came to realize she was the definite one he truly needed and loved, he stilled loved her, even more than before. But it was too late, he thought he had lost it all, regretfully. With each thought of her, he continued his faded life.

Until one day, he received a letter from her, “My dearest beloved, not a day goes by without something reminding me of you. I can still feel your touch, familiar smell and tender voice and they have never faded away in my memory. The truth is that I don’t hate you at all, instead, I still love you and forever I will. Even though we are no longer together, you’re still there. Love doesn’t end in spite of distance and parting, and I learned that getting too close often creates a kind of repellency between us, resulting in our conflicts. Only by parting can I see us through and realize you’re still the one I’ve been always longing for. Loving each other from across a distance, this is the perfect way we are…”

Not knowing when, he bursts into tears, however, with sincere smile hanging on his face. Suddenly, he is awaken by a phone call, he takes a look at the calendar one more time, then smilingly picks up the phone…

That’s what happens in life. For many times, no sooner than when we lose something would we be aware of the value or importance when they are held in our hands. In this process, we may sacrifice some part of our possessions, but we gain another greater part in return. That is, seemingly, we lose it, but deep down, we may possess it much longer or even in an eternal way. To be more frank, one state is always ended with the beginning of another. In this objective world, everything is relative rather than absolute, in this sense, perfection itself is imperfect. That's why we say true perfection has to be imperfect.

雕刻时光: 笔尖下的国度

叩问 爱

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True perfection has to be imperfect

叩问爱